Frank Reynolds' Little Beauties
"Frank Reynolds' Little Beauties" is the third episode of the seventh season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. finds himself in the child beauty-pageant business and fears that people might think that he's in it for the wrong reasons. Meanwhile, wages war on stage moms; and , and think they have found a contestant to back. Recap 12:00 on a Saturday Frank runs into the bar, trips and breaks his nose. He doesn't have time to worry about the blood that is gushing because he has bigger problems: he has invested in a beauty pageant. The rest of the gang doesn't see what the problem is until the contestants enter: young girls in bikinis. In Paddy's office, the gang strategizes what to do. Frank is concerned that people will think he molests children because the previous investor had just been arrested for diddling children. Dee states that she loves pageants because she would enter them as a child to prove to her mother that she wasn't pretty. Charlie convinces the gang that they are pro-American because we are free to show off how sexy our kids. The parents drop their children off at Paddy's and Frank, still with a broken bleeding nose, welcomes them. He fumbles his words so Dee takes over. In the office, Charlie, Mac and Dennis write songs for the pageant and decide that they will be a part of the show. A man enters and tells Dee that he is an inspector, there to make sure the children are protected. She pins the pageant on Frank. Charlie teaches the kids their group dance but they aren't synchronized. He criticizes them all. Dee goes up to Samantha - the most talented and prettiest girl in the group - and compliments her. Samantha is bitchy to Dee, so Dee decides to help Samantha's sister win the pageant. Dennis, Mac and Charlie wonder why there is a boy in the pageant and find out he loves to sing and dance. They decide to choreograph his dance and help him win. At the pageant, Frank shows off his makeup which was done by a mortician. They have Artemis start the music and Dennis, Mac, Dee and Charlie sing and dance an introduction song to the show. Frank thanks everyone for attending, and says multiple times that he doesn't like to diddle children. The girls then proceed to perform their talents. Dee sings with her contestant a song about how shitty parents can be. Dennis, Mac and Charlie help the boy perform a shirtless techno version of "Yankee Doodle Dandy". In between acts, Frank's microphone accidentally turns on while he is talking to his mortician stylist. Frank tells him that when he dies he doesn't mind if the mortician has sex with his corpse or eats it. He realizes his mic is on so he rushes on stage to try and save face to an angry crowd. The police rush in and arrest the inspector, who has been traveling to different pageants to diddle children. The gang decides that the whole thing was a failure and decide to leave. The parents demand to know who won and Dennis declares Samantha won because she was the prettiest. Recurring Roles * Artemis Pebdani as Artemis Dubois Guest Stars 's "cameo"]] *Caitlin Carmichael as Samantha *Erik Jensen as Walter Harris *Maxim Knight as Benjamin *Emily Evan Rae as Justine *Zarii Arri as Aimee *Cory Blevins as Benjamin's Dad *Vanessa Celso as Justine's Mom *Anise Fuller as Aimee's Mom *Brian Lally as Detective Haney *Jennifer Ann Massey as Ashley's Mom *Madison Moellers as Lauren *Kaitlyn Nakatani as Kristen *Bobbie Prewitt as Ashley *John Wiltshire as Mort Trivia *Mac, Charlie & Dennis' robot dance in yellow jumpsuits - it's a parody for climactic scene of "Revenge of the Nerds" movie (which in turn is a parody for "Devo" group's music video "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction"). *The Gang make a few adjustments to the "Yankee Doodle Dandy" song: besides modern techno sound, they're add there a Reagan's "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this '''wall'!" (about the Berlin Wall) and Roosevelt's "''The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" quotes. Also, the Gang made up an awesome electrical voice's introduction "People of Earth, prepare for the future of '''PATRIOTISM". *There's a picture of Barbara Reynolds was shown during the Dee and Justine's musical number. *Mac, Charlie and Dennis (with little Benjamin) are all have a painted on abdominal muscles - just like the "'''Birds of War" from The Gang Wrestles for the Troops. *On 08:35 Dee says to Samantha "...I would eat you for breakfast" - probably, it's a reference for her famous line from "Hundred Dollar Baby" episode ("I will eat your babies, bitch!"). *When Dee is talking to Samantha she is holding her drink, then has her hands together, then holding her drink again. *When Frank shows up to the pagent after getting make up done by the mortician, his apperance is a parody of the Penguin from "Batman Returns" - a character played by Danny DeVito himself. *This episode parody's the TLC show "Toddlers & Tiaras". *Charlie's sarcastic, high-strung attitude while he directs the show the kids will be putting on is very reminiscent of his behavior directing his own musical in the episode "The Nightman Cometh". Quotes :Dee: Your mom doesn't know dick. She's a dumb, fat cow, and your sister- She is a stupid little shit-mouthed bitch, isn't she? :Justine: You just said a lot of bad words... Category:It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Episodes Category:Season 7 Episodes Category:Episodes on a Saturday Category:Episodes at 12 pm